I've been thinking a lot about the power within lately. I think it stems from my recent Chicago visit to hear Iyanla Vanzant speak on the topic. And I thought I had a pretty good handle on the subject. However, just when I thought it was smooth sailing, I had a "moment." You know the kind of moment when everything seems to be going like clockwork and BOOM you get hit with something that shakes you off the path and right down into the pit again.
Today was one of those days and while I'll spare you the ugly details of the situation, I've got to admit my reaction to it wasn't godly. In fact it was so far from being godly, I'm surprised I had any connection to the Spirit within at all. Instead I was mad and hurt and "righteous" about the whole thing. And I threw a good old fashioned fit!! You know the kind you had when you were about 4 years old--throwing yourself on the floor, kicking and screaming to get your way.
Well I wasn't literally kicking and screaming at least on the outside. In fact, most people noticed very little on my outward affect. I'm pretty good at keeping up appearances even when my internal world is going to hell in a hand basket. But I can assure you I WAS being a brat--an ugly, horrible, judgmental, mean-spirited brat to boot!
It was clear to me that my internal dialogue was deteriorating pretty fast. Now, I could have quickly made another decision and stopped that conversation right then and there--in the moment. But of course, I didn't. Still I don't really think that's the core of the problem. Instead the major issue was that I let all that "noise" simply squelch anything the Holy Spirit had to say to me. In other words, I simply didn't listen to that power within.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, confession is good for the soul. Right? More importantly I hope you can learn from my short-lived, temper tantrum. You see, I've since made peace with Christ about the whole thing. Jesus and I are cool! That's the wonderful thing about having a high priest who understands all our shortcomings. He really gets it and is willing to forgive, if and only if we're truly repentant. Oh how I LOVE Him for that!
My hope, no make that my prayer for you this week, is that you can really tap into that internal source of power, because that's exactly what you've got if you have a relationship with Christ. Don't let the noise of the day, the situation, whatever quiet that voice within no matter how soft or distant it may be. And most of all get a good strong hold on the fit-throwing 4-year old. Remember she doesn't get to control things. Leave that up to the Master. Then and only then will you really tap the power within.
Learning, loving, and listening to the one and only Source of power,
~Cheryl