Another Crossroads

Have you ever had one of those days?? I mean the type of day when you think, "Why did I get out of bed?" Today was one of those days for me.

Without going into detail, I felt like I was on a run-away roller coaster--one that keep plunging, coming up briefly only to plunge again. In fact, my stomach is a little sick just thinking about it now.

I know being a Christian means stepping out and walking in faith. And frankly, I think I've done a lot of that lately. I've been navigating some uncharted waters, so to speak. And although I've stepped out of the boat, I feel tossed back in by both my self-doubt and the ever-changing circumstances. Every time I take a step in faith, the boat moves!

So just what do I do? That's a good question, one I'm not sure I can answer at least at this point. Certainly my "flesh" has reacted today and not in the good, "fruit of the spirit" type of way. Instead, I've alternated between anger and tears. And as you might guess, I don't feel any better.

Now before you jump in and say I need to spend some quiet time with the LORD, let me say I've done that and will continue to do that. That one's a no-brainer for me. Frankly, I can't imagine any other way of "being" other than taking my wounded self to the Master Healer. Thank goodness I have 24/7 access to Him. Yes, He's been getting a real "work-out" from me lately.

A few months ago I stood at a crossroads and chose a path. Was it the right one? I don't know. Of course,I'm second guessing myself now. The question of "what if" haunts me. Did I miss the sign--what the Holy Spirit did to guide me? And perhaps that's the point of the whole thing--the place God wants me to be--unsure, and totally dependent on Him. But I'm going to be honest with you here. I don't like it. Nope, I don't like it not one little bit! Can anyone else relate?

Regardless what I do know for sure, is that my God is good (all the time) and HUGE!! So while I may be temporarily at another crossroads--standing, paralyzed. I know the LORD will guide my steps, if only I'll let Him.