Baby Steps. . .

Okay, it's pretty obvious if you've been following along with this blog, that the Holy Spirit has really been working in my life. In particular, He's been working on my trust and authenticity.

I just bought a Casting Crowns CD. The words from "Stained Glass Masquerade" really hit me like a lead balloon. I've included them in the previous post and in the video clip below:



I don't want to be a plastic person not in church, not in life. Yet, I find it so hard to really open up and really share. Yep, that's the one area I hold back on and the one area the Holy Spirit says "surrender to me."

You might think it's because my church is "non-authentic," but that's not the case. I'm in a small, new start church and the folks are wonderful, very warm and caring. It's easy to connect and I do have good friends. In fact several people have reached out to me during my "Sunday Morning crisis." So why do I find it so hard to just be me?

Past experience haunts me. . always lurking just around the horizon. It's funny how one bad church experience, not matter how long ago can still reach its tentacles into the present. But this time I'm saying "no." I'm choosing to look it right in the face and see it for what it is--the past. Not my present or my future.

So, that's my first step. It's not a big one, but it is forward movement. I'm going to be leaning on those "Everlasting Arms" big time during the next few week. So keep me in prayer, okay? And if I fall down, which I might, I could use a hand up. Regardless, I'm going to keep up the baby steps.

a little wobbly but movin forward,
~Cheryl