Cry Me A River

Today has been one of those days filled with frustration and tears. And while the tears part may seem a little disconcerting to those of you who have "sensitive" hearts, the tears have actually been very cleansing for me.

You see, I'm not much of a crier. I learned growing up to "suck it up" and keep a happy face regardless of the circumstance. While this has served me well at times, it's also been very detrimental to my emotional health. If you stuff your emotions long enough, it can become difficult to even recognize when you actually have them. This can lead to all kinds of physical problems. Did I mention I had a full-blown ulcer at age 21??

Anyway, today I have been able to cry and while it's not my favorite emotion, at least I recognized it and let myself fully experience it. Now this may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but frankly I'm claiming it as a victory for myself today!

So it's okay if you want to have a good cry. In fact you can even cry me a river. After all we were created with a variety of emotions. As for me, well. . . I'm going to have a good cry and know that my sweet Savior will be there to dry my tears just when I need Him.

A little weepy, but okay,
~Cheryl

From Here to There: Pieces of Flair

Okay, I have another confession. I'm addicted to pieces of flair. If you're a facebook user, you may be familiar with this add-on application. If not, well just take a look above and you'll get a pretty good idea of what this application is--a representation of the user's (in this case me) likes, dislikes, personality, etc. I'm not sure what else to say about this and perhaps I don't have to say another word. After all, if a picture is worth a thousand words, well then all these pictures together ought to be worth a hundred or so posts!

Peace, out!
~Cheryl

Rain, Rain Go Away!

Boom! Crash!! Thunder and lightening are bombarding the night sky tonight. Perhaps that's why I'm still up in the wee hours of the morning. Now, I am a night owl by nature, but this symphony of light and sound has me on edge just a bit more than I normally would be.

I don't dislike storms. I don't like them either. In fact, for the most part, I'm indifferent as long as I'm not inconvenienced by them. And while I am at home, in my PJ's, safe and sound this current storm has inconvenienced my nightly sleep.

It makes me wonder what the folks just hit by hurricane Dolly must have heard as the storm came a shore. I can only surmise that their senses must have been bombarded on every level. And "inconvenienced" well, that doesn't even begin to cover the damage I've seen on the news.

So, as the storm rages on outside my bedroom window, I'm going to offer a short prayer of thanks. Thank you LORD that all I have to endure is a short disturbance in my sleep. I pray for my brothers and sisters who have braved hurricane Dolly. May they not only find the help they need, but may they draw close to You!

Nighty, night all. Suddenly, I'm feeling more peaceful. Funny, how that happens.

Safe, sound, sleepy and dry,
~Cheryl

What a week!

Trip #1
I just returned from Chicago where I made 2 (yes, that is two) trips up and back last week. First we traveled up to the funeral of my hubby's aunt. She was 95. So her death was not really a surprise. What was surprising were the details. There was no pastor, no obituary, no funeral service, no open casket--just a funeral director with a few comments graveside. These were her wishes. Of course, the lack of any real spiritual connection really hit me hard in the heart. I don't know the state of his aunt's heart, I can only connect the dots, so to speak.

Trip #2
My mom turned 77 on Saturday, and of course we went back up to Chicago to celebrate. It was such a joyous occasion and in stark contrast to our first visit or the week. We had more food to eat that I've eaten in a month!! Oh my! What a blessing it was to share this special time with my mom.

Two events--two very different emotions. What a week!

Healer

I found this Hillsong video on Tami's blog. It really spoke to my current health situation. Trust me folks. This one is really worth your time to watch.

As for me? I fell flat on my face and praised when I saw it. God's timing is perfect. A big shout out to Tami for leading me to this!! And of course, an even BIGGER shout out to God who is the perfect healer and so worthy of our praise.

Here are the lyrics --

HEALER
You're my Healer
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
My Healer, You're my Healer
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

Homework

One of my homework assignments (yes, even professors have homework) this week from my life coach was to list the things I think I should be doing. So, in my attempt to step out of my bubble and become more authentic, I thought I'd share my list with you:

Deep Breath. . . .Here goes

Things I should be doing:

1. Paying attention to and nurturing body
2. Exercising
3. Losing weight
4. Fueling my body with healthy food
5. Resting
6. Going to the dentist
7. Enjoying my job
8. Acknowledging my successes instead of concentrating on my failures
9. Fully feeling my emotions
10. More “set aside” quiet time with God
11. Keeping in contact with friends
12. Listening to the Holy Spirit even in the midst of activity
13. Sharing my authentic self with others
14. Paying attention to my physical space
15. Getting rid of clutter
16. Keeping my commitments
17. Working on strained family relationships
18. Spending more time meditating/relaxing/strengthening
19. Playing the piano
20. Singing
21. Writing music
22. Listening to music
23. Dancing
24. Traveling
25. Going out to simply have fun!
26. Reading for pleasure, not simply for work.
27. Setting clear boundaries at home and in the workplace
28. Taking risks—learning how to trust.
29. Learning to say “no” (letting my yes be yes and my no be no)
30. Effectively managing my money

Okay, there you have it. Remember it was a homework assignment. On a very logical level I know (and teach in Interpersonal Communication) that "shoulds" lead to illogical thinking and as a result inaccurate conclusions. So I try not to "should" on myself too often.

How about you? Do you have your own list of shoulds? Do tell!!! Remember, you're not getting graded on this one.

A good site to check out

I was watching the NBC nightly news and saw a story about a girl who was motivated to start a website that donates free kibble to dog shelters. I thought this was really cool. Payton wanted me to post this so you can participate too. You can visit once daily. Just click on the button above and play bow wow trivia (one question). . . you send free dog food even if you get the question wrong.

Here's the same thing for cats!

Saturday afternoon

It's Saturday afternoon and all is quiet here at home. Matthew came home yesterday for a brief visit from his internship with World Relief in Wheaton, but of course he's out with friends. Sammie is working and Andrew is at the park with his friends. That leaves just me and my hubby (who's napping) and my furkids Payton and Emma Grace.

So I thought I'd just steal away for a few moments and post my thoughts. Fist, thanks to all of you have have e-mailed, called, and posted. I truly appreciate your thoughts and prayers on my behalf. I am so amazed at this blogging community. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to make such treasured friends when I started this blog a little over a year ago. You have truly been Christ in the flesh for me this week and I've gleaned such strength and comfort from all of you!

As many of you know this has been a challenging week for me. Yet, I'm so aware of God's goodness even in the midst of the trials that I've faced. Right now I can feel His sweet presence--ever so close just wash over me like waves in the ocean--clean, refreshing and comforting. And I'm reminded of just how blessed I am to have a relationship with the LORD of the Universe.

What a wonderful Saturday afternoon! The only thing that would make it better would be if you were here with me, but even though I can't see your beautiful faces I can feel your presence too. Thank you, my dear Siestas. I love you all.

~Cheryl

Virtual Church?

I've been researching Second Life. Our university is considering using SL as a teaching tool. Right now many universities such as Harvard hold classes there. I was fortunate enough to attend a seminar where I saw a classroom teaching the Jazz age in a virtual Harlem. It was very cool and educational. I actually got to play the piano in the Cotton Club. . . but I digress.

Now why do I bring this up? There's been a lot of negative press on Second Life (virtual worlds). Both Law and Order and CSI have done episodes demonstrating the "dangers" of these types of internet sites. And don't get me wrong. There are some very sleezy aspects of SL, as in the real world and on the internet.

Yet, I've stumbled across some very positive aspects as well--one such aspect is religion in SL. One of the most active churches is Life Church.

Here's a short video the from MSNBC on church in SL:



While it may not be my cup of tea, so to speak I do know that many of the younger generation really "relate" well in the realm. Can there be true community in SL? I have lots of questions and of course no answers. So what do you think? Thumbs up or down on Virtual Church?

Painting Pictures of Egypt

Isn't it funny how a song can touch your heart so deeply or communicate what you're feeling in a way you can't quite articulate? This weekend as I spent many hours on the road, this oldie but goodie by Sara Groves really resonated deeply with my soul. It pretty much sums up where I am right now spiritually.

Painting Pictures Of Egypt

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Confessions of a Marching Band Geek!

I've just returned from an extended road trip. The reason for the trip? Well, I've been a bit hesitant to come out of the closet, so to speak, but I guess now is as good a time as any. You see I am a marching band geek.

Yes, for those of you who have seen my facebook page, this won't be a big revelation, however, I haven't spent much time writing about my love for all things marching band here on this blog.

My love for marching band began in high school and continued through college. I thoroughly enjoy everything about marching band. And believe it or not, I don't even play an instrument in the band. Rather, I "play" the flag. Yes, you can stop laughing now.

This brings me to my road trip. You see I'm on the alumni band board at Illinois State University (some three+ hours from where I live). This past week we had a huge scholarship fundraiser, social event, and tickets to see the DCI (Drum Corp International) regional competition. Click here for a short video of the night. Needless to say, I was in marching band heaven!

So, there you have. Whew! Do I feel free or what. Now you know. I'm not just a professor geek, I'm a marching band geek too!!

Illinois State University Big Red Marching Machine