Cry Me A River

Today has been one of those days filled with frustration and tears. And while the tears part may seem a little disconcerting to those of you who have "sensitive" hearts, the tears have actually been very cleansing for me.

You see, I'm not much of a crier. I learned growing up to "suck it up" and keep a happy face regardless of the circumstance. While this has served me well at times, it's also been very detrimental to my emotional health. If you stuff your emotions long enough, it can become difficult to even recognize when you actually have them. This can lead to all kinds of physical problems. Did I mention I had a full-blown ulcer at age 21??

Anyway, today I have been able to cry and while it's not my favorite emotion, at least I recognized it and let myself fully experience it. Now this may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but frankly I'm claiming it as a victory for myself today!

So it's okay if you want to have a good cry. In fact you can even cry me a river. After all we were created with a variety of emotions. As for me, well. . . I'm going to have a good cry and know that my sweet Savior will be there to dry my tears just when I need Him.

A little weepy, but okay,
~Cheryl

From Here to There: Pieces of Flair

Okay, I have another confession. I'm addicted to pieces of flair. If you're a facebook user, you may be familiar with this add-on application. If not, well just take a look above and you'll get a pretty good idea of what this application is--a representation of the user's (in this case me) likes, dislikes, personality, etc. I'm not sure what else to say about this and perhaps I don't have to say another word. After all, if a picture is worth a thousand words, well then all these pictures together ought to be worth a hundred or so posts!

Peace, out!
~Cheryl

Rain, Rain Go Away!

Boom! Crash!! Thunder and lightening are bombarding the night sky tonight. Perhaps that's why I'm still up in the wee hours of the morning. Now, I am a night owl by nature, but this symphony of light and sound has me on edge just a bit more than I normally would be.

I don't dislike storms. I don't like them either. In fact, for the most part, I'm indifferent as long as I'm not inconvenienced by them. And while I am at home, in my PJ's, safe and sound this current storm has inconvenienced my nightly sleep.

It makes me wonder what the folks just hit by hurricane Dolly must have heard as the storm came a shore. I can only surmise that their senses must have been bombarded on every level. And "inconvenienced" well, that doesn't even begin to cover the damage I've seen on the news.

So, as the storm rages on outside my bedroom window, I'm going to offer a short prayer of thanks. Thank you LORD that all I have to endure is a short disturbance in my sleep. I pray for my brothers and sisters who have braved hurricane Dolly. May they not only find the help they need, but may they draw close to You!

Nighty, night all. Suddenly, I'm feeling more peaceful. Funny, how that happens.

Safe, sound, sleepy and dry,
~Cheryl

What a week!

Trip #1
I just returned from Chicago where I made 2 (yes, that is two) trips up and back last week. First we traveled up to the funeral of my hubby's aunt. She was 95. So her death was not really a surprise. What was surprising were the details. There was no pastor, no obituary, no funeral service, no open casket--just a funeral director with a few comments graveside. These were her wishes. Of course, the lack of any real spiritual connection really hit me hard in the heart. I don't know the state of his aunt's heart, I can only connect the dots, so to speak.

Trip #2
My mom turned 77 on Saturday, and of course we went back up to Chicago to celebrate. It was such a joyous occasion and in stark contrast to our first visit or the week. We had more food to eat that I've eaten in a month!! Oh my! What a blessing it was to share this special time with my mom.

Two events--two very different emotions. What a week!

Healer

I found this Hillsong video on Tami's blog. It really spoke to my current health situation. Trust me folks. This one is really worth your time to watch.

As for me? I fell flat on my face and praised when I saw it. God's timing is perfect. A big shout out to Tami for leading me to this!! And of course, an even BIGGER shout out to God who is the perfect healer and so worthy of our praise.

Here are the lyrics --

HEALER
You're my Healer
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
My Healer, You're my Healer
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

Homework

One of my homework assignments (yes, even professors have homework) this week from my life coach was to list the things I think I should be doing. So, in my attempt to step out of my bubble and become more authentic, I thought I'd share my list with you:

Deep Breath. . . .Here goes

Things I should be doing:

1. Paying attention to and nurturing body
2. Exercising
3. Losing weight
4. Fueling my body with healthy food
5. Resting
6. Going to the dentist
7. Enjoying my job
8. Acknowledging my successes instead of concentrating on my failures
9. Fully feeling my emotions
10. More “set aside” quiet time with God
11. Keeping in contact with friends
12. Listening to the Holy Spirit even in the midst of activity
13. Sharing my authentic self with others
14. Paying attention to my physical space
15. Getting rid of clutter
16. Keeping my commitments
17. Working on strained family relationships
18. Spending more time meditating/relaxing/strengthening
19. Playing the piano
20. Singing
21. Writing music
22. Listening to music
23. Dancing
24. Traveling
25. Going out to simply have fun!
26. Reading for pleasure, not simply for work.
27. Setting clear boundaries at home and in the workplace
28. Taking risks—learning how to trust.
29. Learning to say “no” (letting my yes be yes and my no be no)
30. Effectively managing my money

Okay, there you have it. Remember it was a homework assignment. On a very logical level I know (and teach in Interpersonal Communication) that "shoulds" lead to illogical thinking and as a result inaccurate conclusions. So I try not to "should" on myself too often.

How about you? Do you have your own list of shoulds? Do tell!!! Remember, you're not getting graded on this one.

A good site to check out

I was watching the NBC nightly news and saw a story about a girl who was motivated to start a website that donates free kibble to dog shelters. I thought this was really cool. Payton wanted me to post this so you can participate too. You can visit once daily. Just click on the button above and play bow wow trivia (one question). . . you send free dog food even if you get the question wrong.

Here's the same thing for cats!

Saturday afternoon

It's Saturday afternoon and all is quiet here at home. Matthew came home yesterday for a brief visit from his internship with World Relief in Wheaton, but of course he's out with friends. Sammie is working and Andrew is at the park with his friends. That leaves just me and my hubby (who's napping) and my furkids Payton and Emma Grace.

So I thought I'd just steal away for a few moments and post my thoughts. Fist, thanks to all of you have have e-mailed, called, and posted. I truly appreciate your thoughts and prayers on my behalf. I am so amazed at this blogging community. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to make such treasured friends when I started this blog a little over a year ago. You have truly been Christ in the flesh for me this week and I've gleaned such strength and comfort from all of you!

As many of you know this has been a challenging week for me. Yet, I'm so aware of God's goodness even in the midst of the trials that I've faced. Right now I can feel His sweet presence--ever so close just wash over me like waves in the ocean--clean, refreshing and comforting. And I'm reminded of just how blessed I am to have a relationship with the LORD of the Universe.

What a wonderful Saturday afternoon! The only thing that would make it better would be if you were here with me, but even though I can't see your beautiful faces I can feel your presence too. Thank you, my dear Siestas. I love you all.

~Cheryl

Virtual Church?

I've been researching Second Life. Our university is considering using SL as a teaching tool. Right now many universities such as Harvard hold classes there. I was fortunate enough to attend a seminar where I saw a classroom teaching the Jazz age in a virtual Harlem. It was very cool and educational. I actually got to play the piano in the Cotton Club. . . but I digress.

Now why do I bring this up? There's been a lot of negative press on Second Life (virtual worlds). Both Law and Order and CSI have done episodes demonstrating the "dangers" of these types of internet sites. And don't get me wrong. There are some very sleezy aspects of SL, as in the real world and on the internet.

Yet, I've stumbled across some very positive aspects as well--one such aspect is religion in SL. One of the most active churches is Life Church.

Here's a short video the from MSNBC on church in SL:



While it may not be my cup of tea, so to speak I do know that many of the younger generation really "relate" well in the realm. Can there be true community in SL? I have lots of questions and of course no answers. So what do you think? Thumbs up or down on Virtual Church?

Painting Pictures of Egypt

Isn't it funny how a song can touch your heart so deeply or communicate what you're feeling in a way you can't quite articulate? This weekend as I spent many hours on the road, this oldie but goodie by Sara Groves really resonated deeply with my soul. It pretty much sums up where I am right now spiritually.

Painting Pictures Of Egypt

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Confessions of a Marching Band Geek!

I've just returned from an extended road trip. The reason for the trip? Well, I've been a bit hesitant to come out of the closet, so to speak, but I guess now is as good a time as any. You see I am a marching band geek.

Yes, for those of you who have seen my facebook page, this won't be a big revelation, however, I haven't spent much time writing about my love for all things marching band here on this blog.

My love for marching band began in high school and continued through college. I thoroughly enjoy everything about marching band. And believe it or not, I don't even play an instrument in the band. Rather, I "play" the flag. Yes, you can stop laughing now.

This brings me to my road trip. You see I'm on the alumni band board at Illinois State University (some three+ hours from where I live). This past week we had a huge scholarship fundraiser, social event, and tickets to see the DCI (Drum Corp International) regional competition. Click here for a short video of the night. Needless to say, I was in marching band heaven!

So, there you have. Whew! Do I feel free or what. Now you know. I'm not just a professor geek, I'm a marching band geek too!!

Illinois State University Big Red Marching Machine

Better Days

Have you ever had one of those really crappy days? You know the kind where you just should have stayed in bed under the covers all day? Monday was one of those days for me. Now I can't exactly put my finger on any one thing that made the day especially bad, but trust me from my perspective it was a stinker!

Part of it may be just where I am in life and my desire to continue to move and grow spiritually. I've been working with a spiritual life coach. And. . . well, the work is just plain hard. To my own credit, though I've stuck with it, when my usual MO would be to "cut and run." But as Dr. Phil would say, "how's that been working for you?" The "cut and run" strategy hasn't gotten me anywhere or perhaps better stated it hasn't gotten me where I wanted to be or even more so where God wanted me to be! So with a little help from my spiritual life coach (and mega help from the Holy Spirit), I've been moving forward bit by bit. Even when the moving is difficult, the ultimate result is good.

All this to say that today has been a better day. The lesson learned? Just remember to take things moment by moment. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide. If you don't like where you're at, well. . . tomorrow's always another day. . just a few moments away!

I'd like to end this with a wonderful "surprise" I received from Sammie, my daughter. She came charging through the door tonight after work with presents in hand. First a card to "cheer me up," followed by chocolates (always a good choice), and then a big box which contained a picture/saying for my office. Take note of what it said, cause this is good stuff Siestas!

"Faith is the place between the way things are and the good things that are sure to come." Ah, such wisdom, and although it wasn't in a Hallmark card, it was a Hallmark gift (tee hee)!!Yup, Sammie works at Hallmark. Don't you just love it??

So I'm waiting on those good things and knowing they'll be here soon enough in His time!!

As always, crazy for Christ,
~Cheryl

The Shack

Oh my!! This book is really something special. I bought it on Saturday and finished in ONE READING. The story behind this book is amazing. It was originally self-published and is now on the best seller list. Do you know how often that happens? Um. . like NEVER. This should indicate just how good this book is. . . No major marketing campaigns, no major publishing company, no corporate marketing strategy. Just simply mouth-to-mouth promotion.

Anyway, here's the synopsis of the book:

"Mackenzie Allen Philips' youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend. Against his better judgment he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change Mack's world forever. In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant "The Shack" wrestles with the timeless question, "Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?" The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him. You'll want everyone you know to read this book!"

Check out the website for The Shack.

This book has touched people across the globe. One family is even dedicated to getting the book into as many hands as possible. They've developed a website where you can have the book sent to anyone (including yourself) for FREE!! Yes, you got that right, FREE!! Here's the link. I've already had copies sent to all those people who are most important to me. Yes, it's that kind of book--very life changing. Have I peaked your interest yet? I really hope so.

So, do me a huge favor and READ IT. Okay? And come back here and let me know what you think. I believe it will capture your heart and bless you as it did me.

Still glowing from reading "The Shack,"
~Cheryl

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Saturday was my birthday and oh what a great day I had!! To put this in perspective, I am usually not happy on my birthday. I don't really know why, but it's been a recurring theme in my life. This year, however, I had the time of my life.

My hubby and I traveled to Peoria, IL on Friday to see our new pastor ordained as an elder in at the Annual Conference. It was a very moving service! When we returned home on Saturday, my birthday and were greeted by Sammie, Andrew and our pup Payton. Sammie had created a whole Wizard of Oz themed birthday for me, which stared before I ever even entered the house.

First of all I found this on the door outside.

underneath it was this:

Foot prints like this:

Led me to the birthday table

Decorated like this

Check out the place settings

Here's the cake

And here are the presents. Can you tell Sammie works at Hallmark?

Payton waiting for cake:

The best present was a framed picture of Sammie and Andrew. Aren't they gorgeous??


So all in all it was a fantastic birthday. And yes there's no place like home!!

Chop, Chop, Chop!!! Chop and Never Stop!

MY NEW HAIRCUT

Okay, I bit the bullet and had my hair "cut" short. I think this is the shortest I've had it since I was in high school. The color's lighter (blonder) than it shows. I'm still trying to get used to it. So what do you think?


My hubby, Bill and Me.


Me and my pup, Payton.

I'm alive and well!

Just jumping on-line here for a short moment to post that yes, I am still alive and well. My test came back and showed a severe infection high up in the left sinus. I'm doing better, but it's still not totally gone.

In the meantime, I've been working like crazy. I'm teaching an intersession course on Truth and Deception. It meets every day from 9-3. That's just the classroom time. Add in the prep and grading and. . .well, you can see why I haven't been posting much lately.

Anyway, the class ends tomorrow!! Yea!!!! Although I love teaching it, I'm more than ready for this crazy schedule to end.

Hope all of you are doing well. I'll catch up on blog reading next week.

Until then,
~Cheryl

Real Faith is in the God Box!

Pastor Craig Groeschel recently used the following illustration in a sermon:

It involved two boxes. One box had “me” written on it. One had “God” written on it. He simply showed how we often give things to God… then take them back. At the end of the illustration, He suggested that real faith is when we don’t just hand things to God, but give our lives totally to Him. Then he put the “me” box into the “God” box. (Click here to see the message.) *clipped from Lifechurch.tv

Wow!! Is this a powerful illustration or what? I don't know about you, but I want to be in the God box, not out there on my own given Him my stuff and then taking it back.

So I'll follow Peter's example and simply say "Take all of me LORD!"

Test Anxiety

We're in Finals week at good old FBU and I can really relate with my student's test anxiety. You see for the second day in a row I've had medical tests. I've decided that I'm not a good patient or maybe that I'm not a patient patient. Does that make sense? I HATE to wait, especially for tests. And when you're having any type of medical procedure waiting is just part of the game.

Today was no different as I found myself "challenged" by the wait for my second CT scan--at the hospital this time, to boot (I hate hospitals with a passion). Why a second CT scan? Well, they only did part of what they were supposed to do yesterday. Don't ask me why or how. I don't know the answer. I was just thankful I didn't have to have dye inserted in my body this time.

So what's on the agenda for tomorrow? Well, I don't really know. I'm just taking this thing step by step. I can tell you one thing. I hope and pray there are no more tests. Frankly, I'm much better at giving tests than taking them.

~Cheryl

Happy Mother's Day

For all mothers out there, I wish I could be there in person to give you some roses. Until that day when we meet face-to-face (San Antonio, anyone?), these virtual flower will have to do.

Have a fantastic Mother's Day!!

Much love,
~Cheryl

One for all and all for one. . Is this just a pipe dream?

For a number of years I've had a passion for unity in the church. Last year, convinced of the importance of this I urged my own local church to host a Beth Moore Simulcast. I thought this would be a great way to bring in women from a variety of churches in the area.

Little did I know just how difficult this task would be. Although the event was eventually a success, the road getting there was paved with every road block and detour imaginable.

So, you can see why the following article attracted my interest. How do we create unity in the church? Any suggestions? Or is this just a pipe dream? I sure hope not.

With a passion for unity,
~Cheryl

clipped from swerve.lifechurch.tv If I were the devil, my number one strategy to thwart the work of God would be to divide Christ’s church. Satan certainly knows the words of Jesus that a Kingdom divided against itself cannot stand. Jesus asked God to make all His disciples one (John 17:21). He prayed that we would be brought to complete unity (John 17:23). Paul told us to, “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit…” (Eph. 4:3) Unity doesn’t mean uniformity. We shouldn’t be alike in style, philosophy, and personal preferences. We are strengthened in our diversity. We can be unified and diversified! We don’t have to be alike or agree on minor issues to agree on the Lordship of Christ! For example, a strong church in my community changed its worship style. Several other churches within the same denomination took out full-page ads against this church, calling them heretics. HEARTBREAKING! As a parent, I hate when my kids fight. Imagine how God must feel when He looks at His children who can’t get along.

Migraine Trouble

Okay, I'm sitting at my desk at work typing this, just waiting for the rush hour traffic to clear out a bit before I leave. I'm not sure I could handle the traffic today. You see I have a killer migraine. It started on Monday and despite my best efforts to get it to STOP, it continues. And yest, I've taken all my prescribed medication. But, still no help. Argh!! So, I think I'm going to have to wrap things up here, head home to a quiet, dark room for a while.

I'll be back when I'm feeling better.

Until then,
~Cheryl

When Silence Isn't Quiet After All!

I just finished reading Jennyhope's post on The Power of Silence (A.W Tozer) and it actually made me stop my mad, hectic rush of grading papers. Yes, it is that time of year again when I'm flooded with student papers. So, what am I doing now? Reading blogs of course!!! But I digress. . . .

Last weekend at the retreat/conference I attended the group was put on "silence" both Friday and Saturday nights. Basically, we were on our honor not to talk after we left the retreat site and headed back to our various hotels.

Now, while silence may seem like a pretty easy thing to do, it's actually more of a challenge than you might think. Just the little practical things like asking for more towels or ordering breakfast could prove to be a challenge. Add to that the fact that I'm an extrovert and well. . . you can see how this might have been just a wee bit of a challenge for me.

What I found, however was that these extended periods of silence were the most powerful times I've experienced lately. It's amazing just what you can actually hear when you stop talking and start listening. So perhaps it's time to stop talking and start listening. Hey you could even put yourself on silence. Now there's an idea.

Try it! My guess is that once you "adjust" to it, you'll find that that "quiet time" really isn't that quiet at all.

Enjoying the Silence,
~Cheryl

Back in the "fast lane"

Wow! I've hit the ground running as I've tried to "catch up" with all that's gone on since I've been gone. I just returned late Monday night from a conference/retreat in Maryland. It was a fantastic experience that has totally renewed me in ways I can't even begin to articulate.

The one thing I can share is that God is so much bigger than I ever thought He was!! And that's pretty darn BIG. I was just washed in His love during my trip. The time I spent with Him was so special. He was so tender and sweet with me and I believe I experienced His love in ways I never had before. Now there's a statement for you!!

So, yes I'm back in the "fast lane" again. And although I'll miss my "retreat" experience, I am glad to be back among the world of bloggers again!!! I can't wait to hear about what y'all have been doing while I've been gone. So, I'm off to do some blog reading.

Love you bunches,
~Cheryl

Gratitude

I stumbled across this today and thought, "What a great idea!" Thus, I'm sharing it with you. Who do you need to thank? Maybe it's time to drop them a note, e-mail or call. What do you think? Are you up for the challenge???

With much love and gratitude,
~Cheryl

clipped from swerve.lifechurch.tv Jesus told a story about ten lepers who were healed. Only one returned to say “thank you.” I hope I am always the one. We are where we are because of people God has put in our lives. I challenge you to make a list of ten people who have influenced you and write them each a personal note of gratitude. Your list might include: Your mom or dad. Your grandparents. Your fifth grade teacher, your eighth grade coach, or your preaching professor from seminary. Your youth pastor from childhood, the speaker who came to your youth camp, or the volunteer leader who listened to you when you were hurting. Your friend who prayed for you daily. The author of some book that touched your life in a deep way. Some pastor you’ve never met but feeds you spiritually weekly on your iPod. Some person who said one thing that encouraged you when you needed it. Who are a few of the people for whom you’re grateful? When are you going to write that letter you’ve been putting off?

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. But it wasn't the end of time!

We had another aftershock about 12:30am ish Monday. This time I did wake up. I thought the dog was jumping on the bed. Much to my surprise my daughter and the dog came running into my room questioning, "Did you feel it?"

Well, this time I did. It was a strong 4.5 aftershock according to the news. I don't know why I'm so amazed at all this, after all it's simply an earthquake and the aftershocks. All this has me thinking about the "end times," not that I think this is a sign of anything. The thought has just been laying there in the back of my head--or maybe swimming around is a better choice of words.

My women's Bible study met tonight. The topic of "end times" and earthquakes came up, without my prodding. And I'm really glad to announce that I wasn't the only one who had that thought. Don't know if that makes me normal or my group not normal. I'm banking on the former.

All this leads me to my question. If you knew today was the your last day on earth before the rapture, what would you do??? Now there's a million dollar question! Any takers?